If

If I died tomorrow and I went to heaven Id try to kill myself there and see what happened after that. I would feel so useless and so drained that my life was nothing and a waste that I couldnt bare to live and have to tell people the nothing that I have done. My greatest accomplishment is nothing, my biggest fear is loneliness. My biggest mistake is that Im not the person who would make me happy. Im scared Ill never get to where I want to be in life. Wont be loved or anything. Isnt that most peoples fears?

Hey un loving.

1. Single Hate it. Meh. eff that one.
   
2. In 10 years I want to be graduated from college. Have a Car. Be set on a road somewhere with my life. Have my goals falling into or already be in place. Own my business. But still be able to learn.
   
3. I don't really care about drugs and alcohol im quitting everything and the only thing I think Ill be able to let myself do would be drink but never heavily.
4. Religion helps people. I don't follow any, even though im Jewish but I don't practice. I also don't believe in God but I believe in Jesus and that everyone has an inner god? If you get that.
   
5. Yes. Yucky.9th grade how pathetic
   
6. I'm not gonna write 30 interesting facts.
7. My zodiac sign is Leo....I MUTHA FUCKING LOVE IT! and hell yea I love what lions stand for and they're so effing cute!
8. I was most satisfied when ever I make a goal and get it. But MOST satisfied im not sure yet I haven't been very happy with myself in a while but I don't show it ever. I internalize.
9. I hope my future goes as planned. Job, Save, License, Girlfriend?, College, Move, Business, WIN.
   
10. First love and first kiss...first kiss yucky...first love doesn't need to be put out there.
11. No ipod =\
12. My whole day i made dinner, haircut, hung out with cydney, skyped, tumblr, here.
13. California! France, Finland, London.
14. Something with Rachel probably. like going to sesame place or something.
15. Skip
16. Mainstream music is decent?
17. Highs? JOB. Lows? I don't know haha
18. I stated my beliefs when I said I was Jewish and god and yadda yadda.
19. I don't really do that.
20. Education is Key. Smart people are smart.
21. Not big on the TV
22. Fat fat fat.
23. Uhm lesbians, drug story, or a band movie.
24. People who wont give me the time of day. exactly for that reason.
    
25. All different kind of people I don't really have a type anymore.
26. Thinking that I suck.
27. AFI being better.